A day at the pool ended up at the hospital, but not in a way one might think.
After doing the things that you do with a toddler at a pool, we sat down in the concessions area to eat our snack.
Slight tangent: I am appalled at the number of Moms who feel it's okay to disregard not only signs, but public health and cleanliness by allowing their kids to eat and drink by the water, not in the eating area! I saw torn up string cheese under one chair with the wrapper next to it, and others eating bags of food. Hopefully, these kids will become more socially conscious than their mothers.
Back to the snack. So our social consciousness backfired. After getting his fill, JD started playing with his cousin, running and jumping around. Part of the picnic area is the housing for the pool's mechanicals. It is an elevated cement platform that is roughly 18 inches tall, 6 feet wide, and 15 feet long. JD and his cousin climbed on it and were jumping around. Harmless.
JD was not wearing shoes and his cousin was. Cousin jumped on what looked like a metal grate and JD followed suit. As soon as JD jumped on it, he let out a scream. I thought he was scared but my wife felt his pain.
It was not a grate, but a metal plate that is the door to the pump or one of the pumps. It is flat with some dimples and faces directly upward so that it has 100% sun exposure. After JD went on my wife, I felt it and sure enough, it was super hot, probably a couple hundred degrees.
My wife went to run water on his feet, but he was screaming and screaming. I saw him a few minutes later and his left foot had already blistered and popped so that the underlayer was exposed. Time to go to the hospital.
We ended up in an ambulance which I thought was overkill at the time but probably made sense, as it would not have been easy to drive rationally with a screaming child in the back, though I'm sure I could have done it.
We were at the hospital for a couple of hours. They were all nice and, of course, sympathetic to this little boy in so much pain. I don't think I'd ever held him for so long and he never felt heavy.
The hard part was holding him when they examined and dressed the wounds. He's got tree-trunk legs and it took all of my strength to hold him steady while not hurting him.
To sum up his injuries, he has 2nd degree burns on his left foot, 1st degree burns on his right foot and right hand (he sat down and probably put his hand down briefly when he jumped on the plate.)
Worst of all is trying to keep him off of his feet. Imagine yourself not being able to put pressure on the bottoms of your feet. Now try doing that with a 2-year-old.
The good news is that he is not in visible pain. That is, with the help of Tylenol-2. I'll try to update; we have a trip to the Loyola burn center tomorrow. What a fun outing!
Thursday, June 25, 2009
Thursday, June 11, 2009
Siblings
My wife was not sure whether she wanted a second child. I think the thing that made her want to do so was when I asked her if she could imagine life without her sisters.
The first week two that Toodles was home, JD, for the most part, ignored her. As he has come to terms that she is not going anywhere, he has warmed up to her and then some.
He first began trying to play with her while I put her on her small play mat for tummy-time. JD would come over and play with the trinkets on the soft poles that arch over the mat. Then he began to point to her body and identify eyes, nose, mouth, ears (though I have to make sure he keeps his fingers out of those places!) Then he would pat her head and her belly. Finally, he asked to hold her, so I had him sit on my lap and then brought her on top of his.
My favorite moment so far was the other day in the car. I looked in my mirror and saw JD's hand in her car seat. He was looking down at her. Though I couldn't see inside her rear-facing car seat, I think that he was holding her hand while she slept.
The first week two that Toodles was home, JD, for the most part, ignored her. As he has come to terms that she is not going anywhere, he has warmed up to her and then some.
He first began trying to play with her while I put her on her small play mat for tummy-time. JD would come over and play with the trinkets on the soft poles that arch over the mat. Then he began to point to her body and identify eyes, nose, mouth, ears (though I have to make sure he keeps his fingers out of those places!) Then he would pat her head and her belly. Finally, he asked to hold her, so I had him sit on my lap and then brought her on top of his.
My favorite moment so far was the other day in the car. I looked in my mirror and saw JD's hand in her car seat. He was looking down at her. Though I couldn't see inside her rear-facing car seat, I think that he was holding her hand while she slept.
A Greater Sense of Now
A quick catch-up on the last 5 weeks: we brought #2 (to be referred to as "Toodles") home from the hospital. She's doing great. My wife and I are tired but trying to avoid being cranky. A shout out to the many people who have helped us one way or another. Especially my Mom who stayed with JD for 4 days while we were in the hospital and then 2 more days after our return home. Now that she is gone, I don't have extra hands to cook, clean, give attention to JD, pay bills, etc etc.
And that is where I find myself. Looking out at my kitchen, which was never consistently spotless, I see what the addition of a second child has done. Dishes and counter-tops are found clean less and less often or with greater and greater piles.
While JD still sleeps 2-3 hours in the afternoon, I find that I only have about 30-90 minutes to accomplish things.
The good news is that my wife and I are learning to share responsibilities. As she heals from c-sect surgery, she is more able to take on chores. One problem I face is relinquishing the control over how the chores are done. If she takes on, say, kitchen duty, as in cleaning up counters, etc. I can't expect her to do it to my specifications. In a perfect world, she's going to ask me how I want it done because in seven weeks' time it will all fall back to me. But that is a lot to expect. Just be happy they get clean! I tell myself.
The many many things I was able to accomplish consistently have become a list from which I have to choose. Do laundry or download, organize, and email pictures. Cook from scratch (or semi-homemade) or help JD with oral motor exercises. Tend to the lawn and flowers or sleep. Change Toodles' diaper or shower.
But maybe they're not choices I have to make, but rather a list or a routine that needs to be reorganized. That is the optimist talking. Nevermind that I am the type of person that tries to pack 25 hours of activity into 24 hours, leaving time for neither inefficiency nor error (of which many are made).
Remembering back to my adjustment to having JD, I believe it took around three months to establish a routine. Then I could make small adjustments whenever his schedule changed.
And that's what we've been doing - waiting for a routine to emerge.
Waiting for a routine to emerge will be death, so to speak. If the routine creates itself, it will be chaos. There is a way to create a structure, be it rigid or loose, by which we can guide our days rather than letting our days guide us. That was good for summer vacations when the most I had to do was wake-and-bake, but those days are long gone.
I am not the only one who needs the reassurance of structure. JD is happier when he knows what's coming. My wife certainly is a person to whom uncertainty is an unwelcome guest.
When I mentioned creating a schedule she said that the idea was thoughtful, but could I really follow a schedule? The answer: not to a T, but having some structure is a much needed step away from the chaos that has begun to take over.
And that is where I find myself. Looking out at my kitchen, which was never consistently spotless, I see what the addition of a second child has done. Dishes and counter-tops are found clean less and less often or with greater and greater piles.
While JD still sleeps 2-3 hours in the afternoon, I find that I only have about 30-90 minutes to accomplish things.
The good news is that my wife and I are learning to share responsibilities. As she heals from c-sect surgery, she is more able to take on chores. One problem I face is relinquishing the control over how the chores are done. If she takes on, say, kitchen duty, as in cleaning up counters, etc. I can't expect her to do it to my specifications. In a perfect world, she's going to ask me how I want it done because in seven weeks' time it will all fall back to me. But that is a lot to expect. Just be happy they get clean! I tell myself.
The many many things I was able to accomplish consistently have become a list from which I have to choose. Do laundry or download, organize, and email pictures. Cook from scratch (or semi-homemade) or help JD with oral motor exercises. Tend to the lawn and flowers or sleep. Change Toodles' diaper or shower.
But maybe they're not choices I have to make, but rather a list or a routine that needs to be reorganized. That is the optimist talking. Nevermind that I am the type of person that tries to pack 25 hours of activity into 24 hours, leaving time for neither inefficiency nor error (of which many are made).
Remembering back to my adjustment to having JD, I believe it took around three months to establish a routine. Then I could make small adjustments whenever his schedule changed.
And that's what we've been doing - waiting for a routine to emerge.
Waiting for a routine to emerge will be death, so to speak. If the routine creates itself, it will be chaos. There is a way to create a structure, be it rigid or loose, by which we can guide our days rather than letting our days guide us. That was good for summer vacations when the most I had to do was wake-and-bake, but those days are long gone.
I am not the only one who needs the reassurance of structure. JD is happier when he knows what's coming. My wife certainly is a person to whom uncertainty is an unwelcome guest.
When I mentioned creating a schedule she said that the idea was thoughtful, but could I really follow a schedule? The answer: not to a T, but having some structure is a much needed step away from the chaos that has begun to take over.
Thursday, May 7, 2009
Long Time No Post???
I can't believe it's been over a month since my last post!
To anyone who checks in regularly, my apologies. However, the last month has kept my mind and body elsewhere. Specifically, the impending birth of our baby girl.
The birth of a new baby requires very little. A bassinet, diapers, blankets, and clothes. Of course, it is the peripherals that make the list long.
How about a double stroller? We went with the Bob. I haven't used it other than a test drive in a store, but it seems top notch.
Window treatments, crib bedding, and pacifier sanitizing. Washing all of the new clothes and blankets. Making room for a new person's belongings. Adjusting the way our seasonal clothes are stored.
Making lists, checking them twice.
And how about JD who's being naughty and nice?
Volatile! That's all I have to say. His sweet, fun-loving self for most of the day, but emotions getting up and down.
I am convinced that the coming of the new baby has set his sensors into code red. He can tell things are changing. We are buying things for someone else. Neither for me nor for Mommy nor for JD. He hated Wife's belly, though he understood, to the best of a 2-year-old's ability, that there was a baby inside.
And Wife was home more often. In the last two months, she probably averaged one day off per two weeks and began coming home before he would wake from his afternoon nap. This probably caused some of the most stress, as he didn't know when he could and couldn't expect her to be around. Follow that with her 'intruding' on our routine and nutritional patterns. It would be enough to make anyone's head spin. Or, at least, make one's emotions unstable. And we're dealign with a 2-year-old.
And wife was having a harder time sleeping which meant my computer time was cut down by more than an hour per day. It used to be, I would put JD to bed around 8:30pm, then sit with Wife for another hour before she'd be asleep, then I'd go do some cleanup and then some computer fun.
Finally, my computer is in the basement, which limits the amount of access I have to writing when I have thoughts. My next move is to check the availability of putting another modem in the kitchen so I don't have to go down there every time I want to write or check something.
To anyone who checks in regularly, my apologies. However, the last month has kept my mind and body elsewhere. Specifically, the impending birth of our baby girl.
The birth of a new baby requires very little. A bassinet, diapers, blankets, and clothes. Of course, it is the peripherals that make the list long.
How about a double stroller? We went with the Bob. I haven't used it other than a test drive in a store, but it seems top notch.
Window treatments, crib bedding, and pacifier sanitizing. Washing all of the new clothes and blankets. Making room for a new person's belongings. Adjusting the way our seasonal clothes are stored.
Making lists, checking them twice.
And how about JD who's being naughty and nice?
Volatile! That's all I have to say. His sweet, fun-loving self for most of the day, but emotions getting up and down.
I am convinced that the coming of the new baby has set his sensors into code red. He can tell things are changing. We are buying things for someone else. Neither for me nor for Mommy nor for JD. He hated Wife's belly, though he understood, to the best of a 2-year-old's ability, that there was a baby inside.
And Wife was home more often. In the last two months, she probably averaged one day off per two weeks and began coming home before he would wake from his afternoon nap. This probably caused some of the most stress, as he didn't know when he could and couldn't expect her to be around. Follow that with her 'intruding' on our routine and nutritional patterns. It would be enough to make anyone's head spin. Or, at least, make one's emotions unstable. And we're dealign with a 2-year-old.
And wife was having a harder time sleeping which meant my computer time was cut down by more than an hour per day. It used to be, I would put JD to bed around 8:30pm, then sit with Wife for another hour before she'd be asleep, then I'd go do some cleanup and then some computer fun.
Finally, my computer is in the basement, which limits the amount of access I have to writing when I have thoughts. My next move is to check the availability of putting another modem in the kitchen so I don't have to go down there every time I want to write or check something.
Monday, March 30, 2009
Transitions
If you've read some entries from my blog, you know that I don't brag on my child all that much. While JD is a terrific kid, he's got plenty of moments that make my eyes shoot fire and steam come out of my ears.
Right now, I'd like to brag on my kid.
JD is a championship sleeper. He slept five hours in the hospital the second night we were there and had to be awoken by the nurses for a feeding. He was sleeping through the night around six or eight weeks and, with a handful of exceptions that all include sickness, has never turned back.
He has also been exceptional with respect to major transitions. He took a pacifier in the hospital after he was born and took it until he was just over eleven months. The doctor said to take it away, so I did. No problems whatsoever. Giving up bottles in favor of sippy cups? Forget about it. Going from two naps per day to one? (And he still takes a three hour nap every afternoon.)
Need him to get up a little early? No problem. Keep him up late? No meltdowns. Put him down a little early? That's about the only challenge unless I run him around sufficiently. As long as he has some milk, a couple of stories, and his puppy, he's good to go.
But all of that, I feel, pales in comparison to the transition he seems to have quickly mastered. That was going from his crib to his full sized bed.
Actually, it's a twin-over-full bunk bed. Being only two-years-two-months-old, he's only in the full bed and has no access to the top bunk which does not yet have a mattress.
It's the transition we heard was important to make before his sister is born in five weeks from tomorrow (3/31). Though she won't be in her crib until she's sleeping through the night consistently, we wanted to ensure that JD didn't feel as though he was giving his crib up for the baby.
So we purchased the bed and had it delivered and put together. He was immediately excited. The three of us went to Bed, Bath, and Beyond to outfit it with sheets, pillowcases, and a comforter. The next day, JD and I went to Costco to purchase pillows, including a body pillow and some decorative throw pillows. This way, he would have padding all around. We didn't know what to expect, but we didn't want him to have the option of slamming into something. (By the way, the one drawback of bunk beds is making the bed. What a pain! That, and hitting your head.)
Finally, we had a countdown. Okay, JD, three more days until you sleep in your bed! Two days! etc.
Then came Friday afternoon. The big moment. we didn't want to wait until nighttime - limit the chance of having a sleepless night.
JD and I climbed into the bed together. I was prepared to read a bunch of books and lay there with him until he fell asleep. That didn't work. Just like trying to get him to sleep with us in our own bed, it didn't work. It was play time. After forty-five minutes, I got up. JD got up with me and I picked him up and asked him, Crib or bed? Bed, he replied. So into bed I put him, kissed him, then walked out and closed the door.
The next fifteen minutes reminded me how hard sleep training is.
So I lied a little bit about the ease of the transition. There was one rough spot.
For fifteen minutes he screamed bloody murder. Oh, and that comment I just made about sleep training? While at just a few months, your baby is still an infant and vulnerable and fragile, this is a toddler with lungs and a vocabulary. Daddy! Daddy! I want Daddy! Hello? Hello? I want open please! Come in, please! He used every word he could muster to try to get me to come get him. I had to hide in the basement and work on a project so that I could divert my attention. But still, the monitor lights were bright red and as low as I'd set the volume so I could just hear him, he was still quite audible. Daddy! Daddy! Crying so hard. It was hard not to, myself.
I decided a few minutes into his hysterics that I would wait fifteen minutes and then go up, put him into bed, then walk back out.
Just as that fifteen minute mark came up, I suddenly heard silence. I looked into the video monitor but didn't see him in bed. I decided to wait a little longer. A couple of minutes later, I heard some rustling. He was crawling into bed. I turned on the monitor to see him sitting in bed, whimpering to catch his breath, and clutching his blue puppy. Another few minutes and he was out.
The next couple of naps were tough, too, but not like that. Tonight, I read the standard two books while he sipped some milk, then I kissed him good night and, just before I turned off the reading light, he lay down holding puppy.
He was tired and happy to be in bed.
Right now, I'd like to brag on my kid.
JD is a championship sleeper. He slept five hours in the hospital the second night we were there and had to be awoken by the nurses for a feeding. He was sleeping through the night around six or eight weeks and, with a handful of exceptions that all include sickness, has never turned back.
He has also been exceptional with respect to major transitions. He took a pacifier in the hospital after he was born and took it until he was just over eleven months. The doctor said to take it away, so I did. No problems whatsoever. Giving up bottles in favor of sippy cups? Forget about it. Going from two naps per day to one? (And he still takes a three hour nap every afternoon.)
Need him to get up a little early? No problem. Keep him up late? No meltdowns. Put him down a little early? That's about the only challenge unless I run him around sufficiently. As long as he has some milk, a couple of stories, and his puppy, he's good to go.
But all of that, I feel, pales in comparison to the transition he seems to have quickly mastered. That was going from his crib to his full sized bed.
Actually, it's a twin-over-full bunk bed. Being only two-years-two-months-old, he's only in the full bed and has no access to the top bunk which does not yet have a mattress.
It's the transition we heard was important to make before his sister is born in five weeks from tomorrow (3/31). Though she won't be in her crib until she's sleeping through the night consistently, we wanted to ensure that JD didn't feel as though he was giving his crib up for the baby.
So we purchased the bed and had it delivered and put together. He was immediately excited. The three of us went to Bed, Bath, and Beyond to outfit it with sheets, pillowcases, and a comforter. The next day, JD and I went to Costco to purchase pillows, including a body pillow and some decorative throw pillows. This way, he would have padding all around. We didn't know what to expect, but we didn't want him to have the option of slamming into something. (By the way, the one drawback of bunk beds is making the bed. What a pain! That, and hitting your head.)
Finally, we had a countdown. Okay, JD, three more days until you sleep in your bed! Two days! etc.
Then came Friday afternoon. The big moment. we didn't want to wait until nighttime - limit the chance of having a sleepless night.
JD and I climbed into the bed together. I was prepared to read a bunch of books and lay there with him until he fell asleep. That didn't work. Just like trying to get him to sleep with us in our own bed, it didn't work. It was play time. After forty-five minutes, I got up. JD got up with me and I picked him up and asked him, Crib or bed? Bed, he replied. So into bed I put him, kissed him, then walked out and closed the door.
The next fifteen minutes reminded me how hard sleep training is.
So I lied a little bit about the ease of the transition. There was one rough spot.
For fifteen minutes he screamed bloody murder. Oh, and that comment I just made about sleep training? While at just a few months, your baby is still an infant and vulnerable and fragile, this is a toddler with lungs and a vocabulary. Daddy! Daddy! I want Daddy! Hello? Hello? I want open please! Come in, please! He used every word he could muster to try to get me to come get him. I had to hide in the basement and work on a project so that I could divert my attention. But still, the monitor lights were bright red and as low as I'd set the volume so I could just hear him, he was still quite audible. Daddy! Daddy! Crying so hard. It was hard not to, myself.
I decided a few minutes into his hysterics that I would wait fifteen minutes and then go up, put him into bed, then walk back out.
Just as that fifteen minute mark came up, I suddenly heard silence. I looked into the video monitor but didn't see him in bed. I decided to wait a little longer. A couple of minutes later, I heard some rustling. He was crawling into bed. I turned on the monitor to see him sitting in bed, whimpering to catch his breath, and clutching his blue puppy. Another few minutes and he was out.
The next couple of naps were tough, too, but not like that. Tonight, I read the standard two books while he sipped some milk, then I kissed him good night and, just before I turned off the reading light, he lay down holding puppy.
He was tired and happy to be in bed.
Monday, March 23, 2009
Project Management
Have you ever found yourself starting projects that never seem to get finished? Welcome to my world.
It seems that every day I think of something new to do, some project that I or my household cannot live without. Whether it's putting our seasonal or non-maternity clothes into Space Bags, reorganizing the laundry room, starting a new story idea, organizing the office, hanging pictures, reading books, organizing the garage, doing the dishes, doing laundry, checking account balances, auditing statements, planning the week's meals with a coordinated shopping list, planning daily activities for JD, planning play dates for JD, or organizing family outings, I can't seem to get things finished after starting them.
One thing I've tried to do is to make a list of projects I'd like to start. It sort of works. I get to them eventually, but some don't get started as they fall down the priority list.
If they fall down the priority list, did they need to get started in the first place?
Of course they did! The clothes that were piling up in corners of the bedroom need to be stored. That way, when my wife gets back into shape, she can frown upon her old wardrobe and request that funds be earmarked for new clothes. The pot that has been soaking for four days after making chicken stock. Thinking about my family and that we haven't gotten together since the holidays. Looking at the papers piling up in the office and wondering how many bills are underneath that need to be paid today to avoid late charges. The next Great American Novel for which I have a tremendous concept, if only I could get some amphetamines and write for three weeks straight in Kerouac style.
The reality is that these things do all get accomplished. Necessity dictates it. There will be a time soon when we will expect to have guests, so I'll be forced to finish storing the clothes piled up in the guest bedroom. I will need the stockpot for a new batch of stock. The thought of giving money away to late fees makes my skin crawl. The novel . . . that will have to wait until I decide to give up several other hobbies or carry around a journal at all times so that I can jot down my ideas as they come to me.
I might not be the most organized person in the world, but if I had a dollar for all of my good intentions, I'd be a millionaire! And I do make some good chicken soup.
Thursday, March 19, 2009
Positive Reinforcement
My son as taken a liking to lollipops. Correction, a loving to them. Maybe it's just lust, but only time will tell. He asks for one every day, sometimes three or four times per day. It's an addiction.
He was introduced by his speech therapist. When used during a lesson; either by her, by my wife, or by me, it can be used to strengthen lips and cheeks as well as to promote greater oral awareness.
Of course, it can also be used for evil.
Or at least, a lot of whining.
Lollipop!
No buddy, it's time for breakfast.
I...I want lollipop, please.
Go sit in your chair, please.
LOLLIPOP!
And the saga continues. Several times per day.
I did use it the other day for positive reinforcement. Upon entering the house from playing outside, he promptly, and without prompting from me, sat down and took his shoes off.
I made a big deal out of it, gave him praise and hugs and kisses, then told him that he deserved a lollipop for doing such a good job taking his shoes off when he came inside.
Hopefully two things happen. First, he continues to take his shoes off as soon as he comes in the house. Second, that he doesn't expect a lollipop every time he does so.
The reality is that rewarding good behavior it touchy. I don't want to fall into the trap where behaving properly becomes a way to get things. They behave correctly because that's how one is supposed to behave.
Some of you are saying, Ha! Wishful thinking! Or other, more profane things.
But, to me, that's where parenting gets tough. But I only have one kid (until May 5th) and he's only two-years-old. We'll see how long I last.
In the mean time, we'll see how the positive reinforcement works out.
I should also mention that it really does work for oral awareness and lip rounding. There are several exercises one can do and it is especially good when the parent and child each have one and use them in front of a mirror (expect him or her to ask to trade with you at some point - he or she will wonder if yours is more tasty.) If you are curious, just ask and I can send details about the exercises.
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